im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You ruined the universe
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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