I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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