Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
