If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
