I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
