i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
