He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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