Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
