And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
