i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
