How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
