I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
