My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
