News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
