I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
