Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
