He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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