it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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