I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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