I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
