Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
