He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
