Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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