Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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