i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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