dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So. Much. Porn.
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