Do vagina's smell?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
