I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
