Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
