Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
