I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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