If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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