You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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