...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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