He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
