I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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