So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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