whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
