She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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