i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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