its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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