The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
