i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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