dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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