why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We left an ass print on the piano.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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