so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
