Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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