ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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