I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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