Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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